Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I've got my pencil. Gimme something to write on!

What didn't happen this weekend: (Post began on Monday night)
What Didn't happen. Well, let's see.

Didn't buy bike
I didn't buy a bike even though my event is in 42 days. Maybe 41 now? F'n soon, I know that.
I did bike today though (Tuesday) 9 miles in 30 mins.
Saw a few other bikers that were riding around. One during the day, one at night in the city. Both made me wanna ride around like full-time. My legs aren't gonna be ready I have a feeling.
Gonna have to go twice a day from now on, plus get a leg off Craigslist. Size 54cm. S105 brakes. I don't care about clips and all that. Seat padding doesn't matter.
Meanwhile, do people wear all kinds of different materials during a Triathlon? I never see them change or anything. But you can't ride in your wetsuit.
I'm so confused.

Didn't go to Poison
Between plane delays, rain delays, and pissin'n'moanin'.....not a Poison day or was it?

Didn't retain my job
"How do ya get fired....on your day off?"
Well, it wasn't my day off until I made it that way but passing out at about 7am and needing to be out by 730am. Good work, right? Yea. I won't get into the stupidity of the people I worked for because I don't care. I'm really not worried about it, as somehow I've always been able to work and make money. Sell and make money, Craigslist again....not my body. oh You and your sick mind. Anyway...
They're in the past and there is no sense in feeling bad about it. Just learn and move onto the next thing.

Didn't Not Smoke
Again, I have to move on from this but the days of counting (which I don't know how many days it was) ended on early Monday morning. Didn't make it through the weekend without smoking a cigarette. Or four, to be precise.
I'm an adult and made an adult decision but I also know I hate those things and I am not psyched that I did it. I have truly gotten sick of those things. At least I know 100% I'm through with those. Now tweed on the other hand,

Didn't eat. And really haven't in weeks. This is bad on so many levels. Gotta focus. gotta read myself but gotta eat. More important than sleep. --I'm now looking at this days later and it really shows how much I haven't eaten or slept given the babble--

Didn't get a bike. and my Annapolis Tri is 41 days away
Rode this sweet one but it's like $1000 and I don't have that kinda cash. Another dream for later. A little more tangible and a little more realistic though.

Didn't retain my living status. Long story but basically the reign of MPDU has come to an immediate hault where my old complex is concerned. Time for a change and I don't have a choice. Some would say this isn't such a bad thing. I'm not saying anything.

Didn't (still) go to the Bodies Exhibit. I didn't have any thought or plan to but I saw it as I looked at the title page of DCBlogs, something I haven't done in a while.

Didn't know that hotels were so expensive! I haven't made reservations for a hotel in lord knows how long and Calling around to Annapolis hotels, I'm finding myself about to spend the amount that I will on my bike, if and when I ever find one. ...hint help....

Didn't find happiness. Tis gonna be a journey but that's what life is right? A journey of searching what you like and don't? And by the time you figure it all out, you're either too old to go do it or you're in your bed, passing along your wisdom.

Didn't find a positive attitude. Given the "Didn't"s of this post, I'd say I'm still in a negative space. (By definition I'm in a negative space, but that's just cause it's 'da hood')

more to be added (and this time I actually mean it) but then again, am I checking in or something? I guess I am.

"Hello Brain? Yea, it's me. uh, Shut up now! Thanks"

Oh yea, it's Wednesday and I just got back from my therapist. Great session. Really figured some shit out that blew my mind. Don't wanna get into it but it's not bad. it's not good. it just Is.
Oh, but somebody did steal his wallet from his house, as he was In the house! Fuckin' people.
Back to my hole.


Scott said...


Scott said...

don't leave me hanging here

Carrie M said...

I don't feel tardy...

I saw two really good things come out of all that (after the devastation of not seeing Poison): you won't go back to smoking. And you figured out some mind blowing stuff. You'll be aiight, kid. :-)

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