Friday, April 13, 2007

In need of advice and support and something to do

I have a feeling that this "lucky day" of mine, might not turn out that way. My birthday turned out much much worse than I thought it would, but that's in my post later today---later I do promise to write the saga of how I was fired, as it's quite a long story and the details are still being written up in case a lawsuit ensues.----

Let's start easy and I'll ask....what's anybody doing tonight? Anything cool going on? Bands, comedy, Poker game., etc?

Now I'll get more personal....

I can't stand it. I'm not this person but
I've been this way for over a year;
Not feeling and acting like myself.
Hell, it feels like many years and I'm trying to get it back.
That feeling. That strength, but I don't know how to find it again.

Me =
- Lacking confidence, and I mean all not just the little bit I usually lack due to normal insecurities, is keeping me from accomplishing this goal

- Generalized anxiety: that's what they tell me it is at least. It feels overwhelming and ever-consuming. Not allowing me to go out and meet new people, and that's what I desperately need to do.

Alas, I sit alone and live my life vicariously through a computer screen. At least I'll have my kitty to hang out with tonight (no, he's not always available....sadly, by choice. don't ask)

This is the One life I've been given, and I'm busy missing it. I obviously can't figure it out on my own, so I'm looking for advice. I'm good at being a friend and conversation, etc, but I can't deal with the introduction parts =\

I'm truly looking for suggestions here for:

- ways to meet people= friends to go do things with, males or females
- people to talk to, even if it's over IM or whatever
- a way to find my confidence and myself again
- how to just "let it go" and be "free" again
- anything else you might be thinking (that could be useful and positive)

Basically, I have no friends* and no one to really talk to*. At least, I feel extremely alone and for a social person who craves conversation and new things, it's strange for me to be in the place I am.

My head is a mess so I turn to my 'world'........
Thanks for any advice given. And if it's just "stop being a pussy", then I don't need your comments. I'm looking for advice and support.

And yes, I'm secure enough within myself to put it out there and ask for help. I know that guys are supposed to be all rough and tough and not have a sensitive side, but I do have a soul and it does hurt sometimes.

- This is not some advertisement for dates and all that, btw -

* I have a couple friends but it's not enough for such a "used-to-be outgoing, social person" like myself. I'm looking for more outta life! (plus, it sounds like they're all busy)


haveyouseenlucky said...

Not trying to be patronizing but I went through this EXACT thing over several years. You can get better, you just have to keep plugging away, and there's no magic solution.

Aside from "quit being a pussy" which I must have yelled at myself a million times. Here's some stuff:

Exercise like crazy.
Buy one of those faggy anxiety workbooks, they actually help.
See a therapist, they actually help.
Stick with the meds.
Don't expect things to get better overnight, but expect them to get better nonetheless.
You can email me if you want.

Scott said...

"faggy" FUCK YOU!

my advice: go rub one out and smoke a joint

Madame M. said...

Think of all this as a new start. This probably doesn't help, but it's a way of looking at the situation. Wishing you luck in your tough time.

haveyouseenlucky said...

Scott, I apologize if you are genuinely offended.

Wouldn't a joint make him more paranoid?

Alex said...

sounds like you're going through a rough patch. It's been a long time but I've been through similar. The key is to make yourself get out. You can't wait for friends, just do it yourself. Shared activities and heightened confidence result, and friendships follow from that.

It's also a good time to do things you wouldn't normally do. If you need a specific suggestion, try a salsa class at Habana Village. It's cheap, you'll have fun, and you'll meet a bunch of people. Even if you don't, you'll still have had fun and developed a new skill.

All of this seems like motivational self-help bs, but it actually works. Good luck and hang in there!

MAD MAC said...

I have a suggestion

Get out some power tools and some implements of mass descruction...

Go to your Friends house in fredneck and throw rocks and chop wood for a big Barnfire!!!

honeykbee said...

I agree with what everyone here has said (including Scott) but you probably already knew that.

the fact everyone here publically admits to understanding, having been there, and being there for you now has got to be a great start to recognizing great things =)

Scott said...


So now that you've rubbed one (or ten) out, smoked a joint, and ready your faggy self-help book (I recommend "Instant Calm"), It's time to take control of your life and the direction that you want it to go. You've got your buddies, who are there to support you, and you've got some skills for coping; get your butt out there and start making changes (start changing'll feel better, or cleaner).

Stacy said...

Eeek. Where have I been? Well, first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WOO HOO!
OMG! Fired? Like, get outta here now, fired? Or, your contract isn't renewed for next year, fired?
That's a mega downer and possibly a bit soul crushing, so, for that alone, take some time to regrounp. As far as the low point with the anxiety goes, I'll send you an email. I've been there ... don't know what to say to make YOU better, because, what gets us out of the depressive hole is so unique and personal for each person that I can't begin to tell you where to begin. Am here to talk if you want. Am here for support. Have been there myself and expect to be there again at some point in life.
have a meeting to go to NOW, will write more later...


Red said...

I think a lot of us have been there. I have never been one to challenge myself but you have to. If you want to live differently you're the only one that can do it.
Just know we are here for you.
Start small like maybe a blogger happy hour?

Anonymous said...

May I suggest getting back on your meds?

Pagan Marbury said...

My email address is

B said...

Thank you to everyone for your continued support.

I am on my meds Anon, so that doesn't help ....but good try =)

and to the rest, I'm definitely taking in your advice.

As for the background to this entire story, it will come soon soon soon!!! but Tomorrow night is my final test (CUC said once again) so I have to study a ton of joints(i wish) and muscles and tendons.

Thanks again and love to all

janet said...

hey, new reader here so I don't know the backstory, but I do hope you feel better soon. My recipes for feeling better: exercise, eating "whole" foods (even though the junk tastes better, I know), getting out in the SUN - take a walk on your lunch hour or something, also...can you find a poker game to play in, or pickup bball or something? Just something fun to do where you can be with others just hanging out. Maybe even some kind of volunteer work on the weekend? Go to a dog park and pet the dogs (volunteer to walk a friend's dog if you need an excuse).

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