Friday, January 26, 2007

Quiz via Velvet 2006

Ok, so I "borrowed" a quiz from VelvetIn Dupont. I hope she doesn't mind. Hell, she should take it as a compliment.

Me, I take it as a cop-out as I wanna post going into the weekend, but without having to give up too much about myself.

Well, Check it out anyway cause it's cool!

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Let’s call it the “Would I Want to Be Friends With Velvet?” Quiz. The first question actually happened to a friend of mine - one of my all time favorite “if I was stranded on an island I’d want you there with me” kind of people. But I made the rest up, I swear. Okay, let’s go.

1) You are partying in Georgetown. Two friends in town from Boston, both of the opposite sex, (if you are gay, these people are both the same sex as you) befriend you. After several drinks on their tab, they offer you a ride home. In the car, one of the two begins to hit on you. It is obvious that the other person is also interested in you, and becomes irritated at their friend. They have a fight and stop the car and demand you get out of the car. Telling you they can’t give you a ride any further and leaving you in the middle of no where, they want directions to their hotel. You:

a) Give them directions to their hotel and walk home shaking your head. Fucking tourists.
b) Convince them to let you stay in the car until you get them to their hotel where you know you can get a cab.
c) Give them the wrong directions sending them straight into the ghetto out of spite, and fend for yourself on the ride home.

2) Your house is on fire. You have two children. You can save only two things, what are they?

a) Your two children.
b) One child (whichever is closer) and your narcotics.
c) Your Gucci purse (with the drugs in them) and a picture of both kids.

3) If you could only listen to one music act for the rest of your life and it had to be from this list, you would pick:

a) Tim McGraw
b) Carrie Underwood
c) Metallica
d) Blues Traveler
e) John Mayer
f) The Killers

4) Your favorite swear from this list is:

a) Fuck
b) Motherfucking cocksucking son of a bitch
c) Shit
d) Gosh Darn it

5) The character you most resemble from Sex and the City is:

a) Charlotte
b) Miranda
c) Carrie
d) Samantha
e) Magda
f) None of the above

6) How many times have you left one or more undergarments at the home of a one night stand, just so you could get the hell out of there?

a) Never, your undergarments are too nice to be left behind.
b) Never, your undergarments are too holey to be left behind.
c) Once, when (s)he fell asleep on it and you didn’t want to wake the beast.
d) Undergarments? What are those?
e) Every weekend bitch. Every weekend. I’m in the double digit loss-o-meter.

7) Your best friend is:

a) Your sorority sister / frat brother from Freshman year. Hey man, we “rushed” together!
b) Your pet.
c) Your right hand / the Hitachi Magic Wand is also acceptable here.

8) You have had sex in the following locations. Check all that apply.

a) Airplane at 30,000 feet.
b) On a nude beach in broad daylight.
c) At work, in someone’s office, during the prime business hour of 10:30 a.m.
d) In the bed of his/her ex. For revenge.
e) At the end of a very crowded pier at dusk.
f) On a motorcycle.
g) In a model apartment.
h) In a swimming pool of an apartment complex.

9) In the next Presidential Election you will vote for:

a) Rudy Giuliani
b) Rudy Giuliani
c) Rudy Giuliani

Scoring:
Add up the points for your answers.
1) a: 0; b: 5; c: 10
2) a: 0; b: 5; c: 10
3) a: 2; b: 0; c: 10; d: 0; e: 0; f: 8
4) a: 5; b: 10; c: 1; d: 0
5) a: 0; b: 0; c: 0; d: 0; e: 0; f: 10
6) a: 5; b: 2; c: 0; d: 4; e: 0
7) a: 0; b: 5 - unless your pets are Sammy and Thora, then you get 15 points; c: 10
8) 5 points for every item you checked.
9) 5 points for any answer.

Points:

0-25: Hurry! Breathe in a mirror and tell me if there’s fog on it! You are so boring you may as well be dead.
26-50: Why the hell did you have to pick the Blues Traveler? Come on! It’s your own fault. I can’t help you if you can’t at least try to help yourself you know.
51-80: You have some signs of promise. Continue your debauchery and check back with me in a couple months. A strict diet of alcohol, drugs, thievery and loving New York City and everything it stands for should get you on the right track.
81-100: Ooh. We should be friends. There are a couple things I may have to slap you around for, but all in all, this is a great effort.
101 + We should be best friends. What? We aren’t? What are you doing this weekend? I must hang out with you.
My Answers & the “Logic” Behind Them:

Check in another time for answers. I'm off to my shrink to search for some of my own

1 comment:

honeykbee said...

I know I left that mirror around here somewhere...

 
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