Friday, December 02, 2005

Quote Vomit

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lilly Tomlin

Having once decided to achieve a certain tak, achieve
it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in
self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome
labor is immense.
-Thomas Arnold Bennett

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the
hell happened.

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually
shut the bitch up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
-Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting
m y head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
-Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the
-Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me
at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME
-Kathy Buckley-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.
! -Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything
done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and
a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.

Albert Schweitzer

Always aim for achievement, and forget about success.

Helen Hayes

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy

Did I already send you this one? How the hell do I change the justification, anyways?

Talk to you soon. Michelle

No comments:

eXTReMe Tracker